After careful consideration, Tk̓emlúps te Secwépemc are thrilled to unveil that the Red Bridge, tragically destroyed by fire, will be replaced with a state-of-the-art ZIPLINE!
Why a zipline, you ask? Here are just a few of the many benefits:
✔️ Eco-Friendly: No emissions, no concrete, just pure gravity-powered travel!
✔️ Efficient Commute: Get across the river in seconds—no more traffic delays!
✔️ Unforgettable Views: Enjoy a breathtaking, high-speed tour of the river while commuting!
✔️ Cost-Effective: A fraction of the price of a new bridge!
✔️ Local Job Creation: We’ll need highly trained “Zipline Operators” and “Landing Zone Recovery Specialists.”
Construction begins soon—just hold tight! (Literally.)
Happy April Fools! 😆